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Hey Mom- Your Sarcastic Wisdom Lives On....

*Norma Jean left us 10 years ago, but her "Norma-isms" live on.... I'm thinking that she may be passing one along to me in the photo

Dear Mom,

Sup? I'm pretty sure that you are fully aware of all the epic changes that have occurred in the lives of your children. Also, pretty sure you are not pleased with some, and ecstatic about others. But since you aren't here to impart either your guilt ridden lectures (as only any mom can), or your beloved "Norma-isms", I feel it's my job to pass along (or in some cases remind people of), your little nuggets of wisdom.

Let's begin with the invisible "Expiration Date". The only reason I begin with that is because it's my plan to publish this post on what was yours - October 6th.

*When speaking about death, mom used to tell me that everyone has an expiration date stamped on their ass, only no one could see it. Why it's allegedly on our ass is beyond me- but hey, why not?

One visit to Piedmont, MO brings to mind another "Norma-ism". I'm thinking about the time that Michael peeled his toenail up and it started (and seemed to never stop) bleeding, that you would have passed along the following nugget: "It's a long way from your heart".

*Credit to brother Dan for remembering that one.

There are so many and to be quite honest, I'm not sure how many are actually "Norma-isms" or if they were passed on to you. But, for the sake of this letter, and all those that were on the receiving end of your wise - yet wildly sarcastic nuggets- I shall from this point forward declare them yours. With one exception: "Eat a peck of dirt before you die"

*For those living under a rock, that one goes way back in almost every family. In our case, we often heard it from Gram (Mom's mom) and, since she lived on a farm the definition of "dirt"...well, I'll leave that for you to decide.

As you know Norma Jean, Michael and I have been traveling about the country, having truly epic adventures. Meeting really great people, seeing some beautiful places, and in short- living our best life. But with this lifestyle sometimes injuries happen. I mean seriously, I'm a Seymour and we are not known for our grace and athleticism. Michael is the exact opposite. Now, because he has worn out bits of his body, and I'm a natural born klutz, the words Ow, Ouch and WTF are often spat out in our RV. This is where your next nugget comes into play: "If it doesn't bleed, it doesn't hurt".

*I'm pretty sure we can all agree.....that's a big fat lie!!!

Throughout our relationship, Michael and I have become serious "foodies". Meaning, we enjoy good food and trying new things. The best place that we have been to experience both is Rick & Barb's - (Michael's sister). We have enjoyed snake, bear, deer, wild boar, and a number of varieties of fish- just to name a few. When asking Rick what's for supper, he has NEVER said "Horse shit and gun smoke"

*Pro tip: If you tell your kids that, they may not show up at the table.

"Go find your ear", now that was creative. I'm predicting that many of the people that are going to read this letter, are going to be like "Wow, I'm stealing that one".

*This is only to be used when your kids are driving you crazy! Do not overuse it, they will catch on too quickly.

These next ones mom, leave me questioning your judgement.... "Go play in traffic" or the other version "Go play on the yellow line". You had to know that if we had access to a bicycle or skateboard, we would do exactly that!

*I highly recommend that you not use these last ones, unless of course, no one else is around to report

I wanted to write you this letter because I wanted you (and everyone else) to know that you have never been, nor ever will be forgotten. And after 10 years, I still wear the one ring of yours that meant the most to me. I found it in your jewelry box and it clearly said "Norma". I immediately put it on and rarely took it off. So, if you ever wondered what 10 years looks like, check out the photo below.

Thanks to this lovely women (Diane Scalese), with skills that are not to be denied, she has brought our ring back to life. And I am forever grateful.

We didn't always see eye to eye, but you are in fact #1 mom! - See what I did there? ;) Yeah, I know, I couldn't resist. Your daughter is just as much of a corny smartass as she was when you left.....some things never change.

*Just when you thought I was going to try to make you cry....nope! Not this time.

It's time to close now, Ma. Before I go though, I'd like to request that you keep visiting us (and not just in my mirror- that's creepy). We are always on the lookout, and find them both comforting and amusing. I have to believe that you are in good company, and one day we will laugh together again....

Until then, Be Well, Be Happy and Safe Travels!

With much love - Kris and Michael!

*IMHO- Norma Jean's favorites ;)

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